http://www.musebooks.com en Barbara J. Hamby Copyright 2011 Barbara J. Hamby 2011-12-11T09:32:09+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/barbara_hamby_-_1929_-_2011/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/barbara_hamby_-_1929_-_2011/#When:09:32:09Z Barbara J. Hamby, Age 82, passed away in her sleep in December of 2011. She is survived by a daughter, Gail D. Anderson (Richard), a son, Kurt E. Deutscher (Catherine Rambo) and three sisters: Beatrice Conger and Frances Alley of Seattle, WA and Margaret Read of Oceanside, CA. Barbara retired from a long career as a secretary and paralegal and became a writer. She took writing classes at community colleges for many years and self-published a poetry book and a self-help book. Many of her poems, essays, articles and stories were published in newspapers, magazines, and anthologies. She was a member of Willamette Writers and Friends of William Stafford, as well as T.O.P.S. OR1096. Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-12-11T09:32:09+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/medical_journal/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/medical_journal/#When:02:34:57Z One of my friends suggested I should journal my surgery experience, since I’m a writer. I’m mostly a poet and I’m not sure there’s anything poetic about what I’m about to go through. I’m definitely sure today is not the day to start, since this is “clean out” day. I’ve already swallowed enough liquids to be feeling slightly nauseous. A tall glass of those liquids contained an entire bottle of powdered laxative. This is the third time in my life a doctor has reported the possibility of cancer. Once, an aspirated biopsy confirmed that a cyst was benign. Twenty-two years ago I had successful surgery for colon cancer. It’s hard to describe the feeling you get when you’re threatened with the Big C. I think the colon cancer was the most frightening with only one totally positive outcome. The negative outcomes would have been a colostomy, or not surviving the long surgery. Neither of those occurred. This time I was told I have a large mass in my pelvis that has a slim chance of being benign. Having lived for eighty-two years already, I didn’t take the news as hard as before. The middle of my life was not great, but the young years and the old years are memorable for good reasons. Raising children was very important to me and I regretted that I couldn’t devote more time to it because of having to earn a living. In retirement, my travels were very enjoyable. Writing has been a slave-driver at times, but a great comfort at other times. I’ve done every thing I can to prepare my body for this surgery. The rest is up to others Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-11-08T02:34:57+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/busy_busy2/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/busy_busy2/#When:21:40:11Z I’ve been really busy preparing to spend several days in the hospital and returning home to be confined for a while. I’ve stocked up on staples, and bought some decent looking nightwear. Now I’m working on getting toiletries together to take with me. I need to get my little suitcase out of the storage room down the street. While I’m running around on these errands, I’ve been enjoying the colorful trees all around King City. The leaves will probably be gone when I get back home. Last evening, when I returned from swimming, dozens of noisy geese were passing overhead. They go over twice a day, but I rarely see or hear them. In the last week, I’ve spent hours removing myself from email subscriptions, many of which I don’t remember signing up for. Now my email box is pretty empty. However, a couple of emails from sisters and one from a niece yesterday kept me from getting lonesome. And, of course, there’s always Facebook or, if all else fails, linking up with LinkedIn. For a long time, I’ve gone through an exercise several times daily where I try to decide what to eat. Most of the time, I don’t feel like eating much so I think about what will give me the biggest bang for the smallest amount. Once in a while, after swimming, I’m actually hungry and that’s a nice feeling. However, I still have to decide what to do about it. At least I no longer have to keep in mind any other person’s allergies, likes and dislikes. If I live ten more years or so, I may learn to make stir-fry and casseroles for one. I can save left-over casserole dishes, but stir-fry loses oomph when reheated. Until this surgery came up, my problems were mostly those listed above.     Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-11-05T21:40:11+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/atta_girl/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/atta_girl/#When:15:15:24Z In the last month I’ve received a couple of nice compliments for my poetry. On October 15th, Kurt Kristensen of Poetspeak, posted my poem “Musicale” on the Poetspeak blog at:  http://poetspeakusa.blogspot.com/ Yesterday a retired writing teacher, a fellow student in my Portland Community College writing class, asked for a copy of a poem I wrote about a trip to Ireland to use as a teaching tool illustrating alliteration. The timing could not be better. With worrisome things going on in my life, these “attagirls” really make me feel great. Below is the Ireland poem: Where was it exactly I began to fall out of love with you?  You say Ireland.  Maybe on the grosgrain ribbon road from Shannon Airport to Lisdoonvarna.  We lost two hubcaps, a tire and my cool bouncing our bodies, already punished by the plane ride, over chuckholes large as bomb craters. You learned to drive left days later on the Ring of Kerry. I stopped screaming.  After that ride (I compared it to whirling in a blender all day – tour buses twirling around us like sharp blades) I tried to remember only soothing blue water and the cool green hedges. I refused to do another ring the next day.  You agreed reluctantly.  You   hadn’t   sat on the crater side of the car. Perhaps it was in the seventh hardware store where you searched for fishhooks, made only in England, you said, and probably now extinct. I gazed at picture postcards of castles. Maybe your charms began to fade in my smarting smoke-filled eyes over a barbecue pot planted against a post in the Burren Castle parking lot.  Braced against Danielle’s angry breath, as she skirted the Irish Coast, we shook sheets of rain from slickered shoulders.  But you kept turning meat, struggling to keep a steady heat, your burning desire to take first prize supreme Please don’t think me a total ingrate.  I asked for adventure, I’d most likely do it again today, if I hadn’t been there, done that. Barbara J. Hamby c.1998   Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-11-03T15:15:24+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/an_uncharacteristic_burst_of_energy/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/an_uncharacteristic_burst_of_energy/#When:03:35:53Z We had beautiful weather yesterday, a little cool, but very sunny. Sun usually energizes me and it overdid it Monday. I finally had to slow myself down for fear I’d be exhausted today. My primary care doctor evaluated my old body this morning to see if it’s in shape for surgery. She pronounced me fit to be cut. It was another nice day today—cold, but with a great sunset tonight and a bright half-moon when I came back from my swim. I’m going to get as much exercise as I can this week. I probably won’t get back to the pool for nearly a month. I’ll have to walk for exercise—not much fun in November. The last major surgery I had was the end of June and I had good weather for walking. If it was too hot in July I walked in my large basement. This time I don’t have any large indoor space for walking. The Sherwood Y has an indoor track, but by the time I’m able to drive there, I’ll probably be able to swim. Actually, walking isn’t much fun for me anymore at all, because of painful feet. But I’ll do it, to get well. I continually run into people who have had similar surgery to mine, or have relatives who did, and had a good outcome. That’s encouraging. Realistically, perhaps those who didn’t come out well aren’t around, but I choose to be optimistic. Tomorrow I have writing class and critique group. Thursday is my T.O.P.S. meeting and I’ll try to get another swim in that day. Other than a couple more trips to the pool on the weekend, those will be my last outings for a while. Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-11-02T03:35:53+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/reflecting_on_mortality/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/reflecting_on_mortality/#When:16:17:32Z I’m recalling a childhood game: “Heavy, heavy hangs over thy head.” In a little more than a week I’ll probably have a long, complicated surgery that poses considerable risk, considering my age and my general health. So, last night I began wondering how I should feel if this might possibly be my last week of life. There is still the possibility that my pre-operative examination will prove that my body is not up to the surgery, and other treatment will be offered. I’m feeling a little sad that I haven’t cleared more clutter out of my life, leaving the job of disposing of all my stuff to my children. I’m feeling good that I’ve organized my finances and paper work so that the transition of those matters should be relatively smooth. I regret that it’s possible I won’t have many questions about what’s going on in the universe answered. Will humanity come to its senses and stop destroying its environment? Will this country be taken over by another? Has that already happened? I’m glad that I may not have to watch more of the suffering that is becoming universal.  It’s obvious that we are becoming a nation of have-a-lots and have-nots, with a small group in between. Since I can no longer afford to support candidates and causes financially, I have been giving moral support by clicking online links to express my opinion. I’m giving that up immediately, at least temporarily, to be picked up later, if possible. As my son said to me, “It’s all about you now.” I’m ready for that. Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-10-30T16:17:32+00:00 http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/a_life_speed_bump/ http://www.musebooks.com/barbara/hamby/info/a_life_speed_bump/#When:03:07:19Z My life has hit a speed bump, so I will be off line for as little as a week or as long as a month, I’m not sure. I am scheduled for surgery early next month. I’ll write as many blog entries as I have time for this coming week in between preparations for being away. There are so many people cheering for me that I have no doubt I’ll have a good recovery. It’s been heartening to hear so many kind words. The last week or so has been a whirlwind of doctors’ appointments, lab and other tests, etc., leaving me pretty exhausted. There’s a long list of blood tests being done, many of which I’ve never heard of. It’s not over yet. I still have an office visit with one doctor and a phone appointment with another next week to insure that my health qualifies me for surgery. It’s amazing how motivating such a coming event is toward getting tasks done that I’ve been putting off. I’ve had a will ready to sign for a long time. I’m pretty sure I’ll get that done now. Other little insurance and financial things that have been put on the back burner will get moved forward. Writing will be on a back burner for a short time. Happily, I’ve already voted in the primary election to replace Congressional Representative David Wu, and I should be around in time to vote in the final election. I’m sorry we lost his services; I thought he did a good job of representing his district. Sadly, personal problems caused his downfall. Now for some rest—until next time. Barbara J. Hamby's Blog 2011-10-29T03:07:19+00:00